Written by Jim's wife - Jill.
Hello, my name is Jill and I met Jim in the spring of 1961. I was 16.5 years old and had just started my first job as a hairdresser, and Jim was 6 years older, having completed his National Service in the Royal Scots.
We were introduced by friends and were married at the end of March 1963.
We had a son and a daughter and would soon be celebrating our 63rd wedding anniversary today, the 30th March.
Jim became a painter and decorator and, when the children were older, I worked in our local hospital. Together we managed a mortgage and bought a very modest home and we felt so proud of what we alone had achieved.
Jim was such a kind, hard working man, who turned his hand to all sorts of DIY, car maintenance and looked after everything in the house and garden. We were a team but he did the 'lion's share' and I learned so many things from him.
Our children loved him and he loved to play with them and the toys that he made them, such as a go-kart and a play car.
When the children were older and left home, we moved from Surrey to North East Scotland (1997) and bought this little old cottage in the beautiful countryside.
Jim retired at the age of 68, but never stopped working in and around the cottage, even making a beautiful 21 metre long stone wall at the front roadside, to retain a wide flower and shrub border! He was very fit, had both his hips replaced over the following years and never gave in to any other health issues along the way. He just kept on going!
Then, at the end of 2023, Jim started to experience frequency and urgency to pass urine, so, as he had had an operation on his enlarged prostate, over 20 years before, the GP’s suspected that the problem was recurring.
They did the routine tests, rectal examinations and fluid balance charts and concluded that he had an irritable or overactive bladder that needed ‘educating’ and that his weakened pelvic floor might be helped with physiotherapy.
So, respecting their professional judgement, Jim continued to suffer from this urgency, always worrying about the location of toilets and using pads – just in case of ‘accidents.’
However, on 6th August 2024, he was shocked to see he had passed red blood in his urine and saw his GP the next day. She sent urine and blood samples off to be tested, thinking that the cause could be kidney granules or an infection, but she urgently referred him to Urology. He had a cystoscopy done on 6th September 2024 - one month later!
On the 10th October 2024, Jim had an ultrasound scan of his kidneys, ureters and bladder, which were all reported 15th October 2024. The urologist concluded that nothing abnormal was seen, but advised him to see his GP if the blood in urine continued. It still was continuing intermittently, with or without clots of various sizes. So, the GP referred to urology again.
They suggested that Jim was put onto a six month course of a medication to reduce his prostate, as they thought that at his age of 86 years another operation was not advisable.
Jim asked the GP’s if there were any other tests or scans that might find a cause, but they insisted that the cystoscopy would have shown anything of concern.
Being the polite and stoic man that he was, the days and months passed with all the same symptoms of urgency and blood in urine until he experienced worsening lower abdominal and back pain.
I persuaded him to let me take him to A & E on the 15th of August 2025 where he was admitted for catheterisation, CT scan, and more tests, but was sent home on the 17th of August 2025 which was his 87th birthday. By this time he was becoming very constipated, and on the 21st of August, 2025 he was in so much pain that he saw a GP urgently the next day, and was referred again to A & E, where he had another CT scan, and was then warned that there could be something sinister going on!
However, he was sent home again that night with painkillers and laxatives, and told to await the test results.
On the 24th of August 2025 his pain was unbearable, so I rang 999 and Jim was taken to the hospital, where he was admitted to the ward.
After five days, he was told that he had bladder cancer, which had spread to his spine and liver, and that the tumours could not be treated.
My darling, Jim was sent home on the 8th September 2025 where he was given pain relief by the district nurses, which became less and less effective. Also, care by the community care team, and by our son, daughter, and myself, while until his desperately sad end on the 24th of October 2025.
I'm so determined to tell Jim's story to highlight how in a practice with six GPs such as ours, there can be a shared diagnosis over many months with no individual GP having the curiosity to think outside the box, investigate further and much earlier what we now know were ‘red flag’ symptoms of bladder cancer.
I do hope that Jim's experience will encourage anyone with the same symptoms to ask their GP if these could be ‘red flag’ signs of bladder cancer. Don't hesitate to ask for urgent investigations and fast track referrals to be arranged as Jim's respect and trust in his GP’s judgement was of no help to him at all.
With my very best wishes,
Jill
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